~Monochrome Spectrum~

so yea, i think i’ll use english for this post. i don’t know, i’m kinda in the mood to write something in english right now so hey, not my mistake right? lol. by the way, this post was made on the chinese new year day, so, happy lunar new year everyone! may have a blast!!… and yet i don’t. lmao.

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anyway, erm.. i’m actually in an exam week while writing this, as ‘tomorrow’ (04/02/11)  i’m having a not-so-great-exam. yeap, a way to spend chinese new year is to be at home, staring at some learning materials, and have your girlfriend backs you up somehow. well at least thats happening to me.

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talking about girlfriend… uhh yes, so, if you’re one of my “loyal reader”, you’d be guessing, that my gf is that girl initialized with ‘F’. well, time to clear things up.

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no. the answer is no. i’m not dating or in a relationship with F. after many circumstances we had together, i had to say how i felt towards her. i’ve said everything to her, but she only smiled back and also told me many reasons which are coming to one big conclusion. i’m too young. yes, i’m 19 and i’m still to young. i laughed when i heard this, but then i cried inside. the one who i cared the most, didn’t take my feelings seriously. well, it really happened, and i’m sad back there. but though it seems that me and her are in a no good to have a relationship or so, instead, we’re still friends. i took her as someone like my own sister, as she really knows how i feels and how is my behaviour or so. and also, she gave me many advices about doing something related to a relationship. and you know what? those things she said really helps. and because of her advices or so, now i’m having a relationship, which is going pretty well with someone called Clarisha. a turn down for me? nah, its the greatest thing that i ever had, at least until now. she was the one looking for me, and i was also looking for someone like her, the one who love me, the way i am. lol sounds so shakespeare? curse youuu romeo and juliet!

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and now, after i saw my posts back then for a few times, i kinda realized that my posts were too… how to say it? uh.. overrated maybe? i expressed my unrequited-love-feelings too much to F, which made me looks hideous in sort of way. well a friend of mine told me, that my blog, with the current state of my life, they don’t go well pretty much. its said that i must do something about those posts. and yet it is so true, must do something about this after all. those posts could means that i’m still chasing the hopeless dream, chasing the impossible love, and could also means that i’m a loner who only looks at the past..

“so, are you going to remove those beautiful posts you made then?” sadly, no. i’m not deleting those posts. it doesn’t mean that something is going on, no. its just that, i want them to be a part of my un-removable-remote-memories. i’m getting old and sort of, and who knows if 20yrs later, i want to remember my teenage life but i forgot about it? the only trail i could left is a public blog that received many spam comments in it (heck yeah 91 spams are listed, and its still growing).

“so any last words?” last words my arse, i’m not dying yet. who is this person asking those question anyways?! you got yourself some baaaaaad humour. LMAO.

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so in the end, this update is unnecessary right? lol, just a simple talk, blabber, blahblah, doobledoop, partoitle, pripples, and etc., and those are not really a word afterall LOL.

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but before i end, i would tell you-who-unexpectedly-willing-to-read-my-blog person, the friend of mine i mentioned before, is actually my conscience. what is that? just google it, lol

also i would like to annotate that i love risha, i love her so much, and i don’t want anything  bad happens to us. (yeah, not to you guys, but the bad things always happens to you, me! ha! -con (wtf, shutup my mindless mind, ough whatever!! -me))

sorry, a mind war back then. so where were we? oh yea, i love her so much, i want to hug and kiss her, i want to love her more, and.. o wait, i think i spoke too much..

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p.s:(indonesian note) PUSING GILA SAMA UAP ANAP LOLOLOLOLOL!! HARUS APAAAA?!?!?!?!?!

p.p.s:(still indonesian) oya, green hornet mari nonton agan2 :D:D:D:D

p.p.p.s:(….) tapi agak bokek, gara2 sewaktu sincia malah belajar, ga sempet kiong hi kiong hi angpau na lai!?!?!?!?! harus apaaaaaaaaa ;_____________;

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 3rd, 2011 at 4:02 pm and is filed under unknown written objects. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.